Comfortably Numb
by TheBraden
Summary: Eli and Fiona encounter a sticky situation with Drew that threatens both Imogen and Fiona's relationship and Adam and Eli's friendship. Imogen has her own secret with Katie who is scorned by Drew and Bianca. That's when Declan shows up to make things even harder, especially for Fiona. Warning: Mature themes used.
1. Chapter 1 Eli

Chapter One – Eli

"Harder! Harder, Eli!" she screamed.

Oh, God... Who the hell would've thought she'd want me? This is, ugh, unreal... So good...

"Oh, Fiona," I said as I clutched onto her back. Fiona started to bite my shoulder and I was just about to hit the spot when we both heard his voice shout.

"Eli?"

We're so fucked.

"Fiona!"

"Adam!" Fiona rolled under the covers.

"What the hell is this?" Adam yelled, "You awful, awful bastards!"

"Adam, listen," Eli begged.

"I don't need this," Adam said. Then he was gone.

"Why did I agree to this?" Fiona says. She crosses her arms then really got uptight. "Well, get out!"

Not thinking, I tell her, "I just jizzed." I was too ashamed to even move. Adam is going to lose it.

"In my _fucking_ bed. First, bed bugs, and now the famous Eli fucking Goldsworthy's creamed my bed's sheets. Just get out. I'm a lesbian, okay? Simple to follow. We're friends. Actually, scratch that. We're done! I don't want to see your face in my loft, ever again," she glares and points towards the door, "I'm serious, Eli. Imogen has been texting me all night."

"You know you want me, FiFi," I say, trying to feel loved again.

Fiona throws her dress back on and says, "I want you out before the party is over. I _don't_ want you, Eli. You don't want me either. I was just curious. I only flirted to get you into bed and it worked and now I know how it feels. Great. You can pretty much fuck off now."

She stands by the door finishing a text message. Most certainly an apology to Imogen. She leaves and slams the door shut and I sit here, contemplating. What did I just do?

The next morning I decide to visit the Torres' house. Audra answers and gives me a scowl.

"I think you've pretty much enough, Eli," she says.

"Right," I choke, "I just, well, need to talk to Adam. Wait, did he tell you?"

Audra laughs. "About how you went down on the girl who broke his heart? Yeah. You listen to me. I don't have time for my son's friends that like to participate in reckless driving and erratic behaviour. Where do you get off to come here and talk to Adam after such a shitty thing you did? Who are you? You barely come here, Eli. I just hear about all the stories from my son who doesn't need his head messed around with any further."

The door's left ajar and I decide to wait until Audra goes into the kitchen. I run up the stairs and search for Adam's room. Wow. I really don't ever come here.

I see a Fast and the Furious poster and knew instantly that it was Adam's. I bust open and say, "Please don't yell. I need to talk to you but your mom..."

It was not Adam. I walked in on Katie and Drew, _enjoying each other_.

"Uh, sorry," I say, "I thought this was Adam's."

"It's fine, Eli," Drew tells me with a grin on his face.

I felt really awkward. I glanced at Katie who was staring at Drew intently.

"Katie? Could you go help out my mom in the kitchen? I want to talk to Eli."

"Sure thing, babe," Katie flirts.

Katie shuts the door and I swallow a lump in my throat.

"So, Eli... What can I get you to do so that this sex tape of you and Fiona isn't forwarded to the whole school?" Drew boasted.

I was baffled by this statement. Did we...? No. We did drink but we weren't drunk enough to film it...

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Drew laughed and revealed a video tape. "I've got you, Eli. You want to pretend that it never happened? Sure, if you follow my rules," he says, "Although, Adam is still going to hate your fucking guts," he added.

"You... You videotaped us having sex?" I was astonished.

"Not on purpose," Drew admitted.

"You are an ass. What do you want? Money? Drugs?" I could give him my anti-anxiety pills and some weed... Hopefully he is an easily-persuaded guy. I've never really interacted with Drew.

Drew gets up and walks towards me. "Neither."

"So, what?" I question him.

"I want you, Eli, to dump Katie for me, because B is coming in 10 minutes," he said shyly.

"That's it?" I smile.

"That's just the beginning," Drew alluded.

Where is he going with this?

"Go downstairs. Talk to Katie and send her home down the back alley. Tell her that I have football practice. B and I have some unresolved issues to deal with. My dick's raging all the time and she knows what to do. You understand," Drew cajoled me without a doubt and I just didn't understand why he didn't ask for money.

"Do I break her the bad news by your mom, or...?" I questioned.

"Tomorrow," he says, "Katie ignores what she doesn't want to see. She knows I want B."

"That's awful," I exclaim.

"I'm sorry?" he inquires, "You think what you did my brother isn't just as bad? Do this shit for me, and I won't send the tape and I will smooth things over with Adam _and_ Fiona."

I check my phone and I have received a text from Imogen.

"Party at FiFi's AGAIN! Totes cray, Eli Goldsworthy. Come & hang w us! :D We scored some special powder. ;)"

Fuck. Wait, strange. Fiona is letting Imogen invite me? What is this?

"I think you should talk to Fi, by the way," Drew exhorts.

I ask again, "Are you sure you don't want money?"

"I don't think will be a problem for now, but maybe later," he concedes.

I head downstairs and see Audra and Katie washing and drying dishes. I clear my throat and request Katie's attention.

"Do you seriously think you are allowed to walk into someone else's home like this, Eli? I said to leave," Audra affirmed.

"I know," I faltered, "Drew let me in. Katie, I need to talk to you."

"You're gonna snatch my other son's girl up too?" Audra was fuming the fire.

"It's fine, Mrs. Torres. I can handle it," Katie says.

Katie follows me out the back door and when she asks what is wrong, I tell her what I am supposed to tell her. Except that is when Bianca appears from behind Katie.

"Hey, guys," Bianca says nervously.

"What are you doing here?" Katie asks her.

Smooth, Drew. Send Bianca _and_ Katie to the back alley.

"She came to help out Drew and Adam's dad, right, Bianca?" I say. Why am I lying? This is not my fault.

Bianca obviously feels less uninvited now. "Yeah! You know, summer job. Not like I'd get hired at Superstore. Haha!"

"Bull," Katie mutters.

"Katie," Bianca says.

"I'm sure Hooters would hire you in no time."

Bianca's jaw drops. That's when I step in. "Katie, that was uncalled for. Drew has football practice!"

"Shut up, Eli. Listen, '_B_', I know you want Drew, and I know he wants you, but he isn't going to just give me up. I was there for him when you fucked his life up."

Katie really doesn't know what's coming for her...

Bianca is being mature. "You're right. I'm trying to change, though. No one believes in me."

"They can't find a good enough reason to," Katie says as she storms off, until she turns around and utters, "Slut."

I turn to Bianca who looks upset. "Rehab's a bitch," she jokes. Then she heads inside as I finally get to go home.

Bullfrog makes me take a nap but I can't sleep. I spend the whole day worrying about Adam and mine's friendship. What kind of a jerk am I? I don't even like Fiona. Why on earth would I have myself convinced I love her? Get yourself together, Eli. You just got in control for once and you do this?

Finally, the sun sets and I take a cab to Fiona's. As I arrive, I already see a flock of people gathering outside. This party could be bigger than last night's.

Drew isn't here this time, nor is Adam. No surprise there.

I meet eyes with Fiona and Imogen throughout the drunken crowd and head over.

Imogen hugs me, "Eli!"

"Hey, Imo!"

"Eli. My room. A talk," Fiona commands.

Imogen is twirling around in a circle to the music and doesn't notice us slip away.

Fiona closes the door and sits down. She sighs and looks up towards me.

"Drew talked to me."

"What?" My eyes open wide. "You too?"

"Yep," she says, "He is making me score him some of Imogen's MDMA powder."

I guess he already got Fiona for the drugs department.

"Oh, shit, Fiona. Your money..." I knew Drew would be a jerk.

Fiona's eyes begin to tear up, "My mom's financially insecure, at the moment. So, I'm screwed," she pauses to get a hold of herself, but fails, "I really did like Adam. I screwed that up, though. Now I'm with Imogen, and I screwed that up, as well. I screwed up my mom's money but spending it all on such stupid crap and using all of mine for that lame Frostival. Fuck. I just can't lose Imogen. I think I'm beginning to love her. I don't know. Does love make you sad?"

"Yeah," I say. I try to get Clare out of my head.

"Clare would..." Fiona starts.

"Fiona, can we just get this Drew situation under control?" I request.

"Sure thing, Eli. Sorry."

We both begin to cry and I sit beside her and give her a hug. "I'm so sorry for making you do what we did. I admit, I was trying to get you drunk enough to have sex. I'm so sorry, Fiona. I'm such a fuck up."

Fiona looks at me, "Eli, I relapsed immediately after school ended. My mom doesn't know. Holly J doesn't know. Just you and Imogen. Marisol pretended to care when I bumped into her at the club. She asked what I was doing with a drink. She can lay off! Imogen is always too high to care anymore. I drank last night like there was no tomorrow. I'm a failure. If I go to rehab again, it'll be my third time. My _third_ time! What is wrong with me? Why do I always fail?"

"Fi..." I don't know what to say. I want to help so badly, but I can't.

Fiona gets undressed and goes into her shower. "Just come with me."

I am sitting here going blank. "I'm sorry?"

"Eli, take a shower with me."

I walk in and get undressed and I find her sitting down, staring at the wall of the open-spaced shower room. I sit down beside her and we just close our eyes and soak up the warmth of the water. Fiona turns her poor face towards me, leans in, and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Fiona?"

She smiles and tells me, "We're friends again, Eli."


	2. Chapter 2 Fiona

Chapter Two – Fiona

I awaken to the sound of my alarm. I turn over to see a passed out Imogen, naked, next to me and Eli visibly sleeping in my bathroom. I shut off the alarm, and just lay there.

Why can't I remember last night? Did I drink again?

My entire mind suddenly focuses on my mom. How will I tell her that I relapsed this summer? She is going to be so disappointed in me. Maybe I could just fix this myself. I don't need professional help, again, do I? I basically have all of their lectures, coping techniques, and statistics memorized. All I can do is try.

I push those thoughts away and it leaves me with the Eli, Imogen, Adam, and Drew situation. I can't believe I did what I did. Eli wouldn't hurt me... I was curious. Eli isn't Bobby. Imogen isn't Bobby. I was just, so, bored. Why? I don't think I can go along with all of this, pretending things are okay. Things aren't okay. I'm broke, my girlfriend likes drugs more than me, Eli and I fucked, and Drew has a fucking tape of it. I would love to hear why he was in my room in the first place, with a video camera? I'm such a horrible person. I cheated. I cheated on Imogen! Am I a bitch? No. Marisol's a bitch. Katie's a bitch. Drew dumped her for good reason. She doesn't care about anything but herself. She spends all day popping pills and playing stupid sports.

Oh, God. I am a bitch.

I walk into the kitchen and I look at the mess from last night. No maids anymore. Fuck.

Instead of cleaning, I decide to freshen up and head to the Dot to meet Drew. I slip into a nice, vintage summer dress that isn't too revealing for the perv.

I already see him waiting with two lattes.

"Take a seat, Fi," he says.

I sigh out of annoyance and before can even begin to explain, he licks his lips and asks, "She's cute, huh?"

I look over and I see Meredith, Charlie's girlfriend. I pray she doesn't remember me. I get thoughts of Charlie out of my head and spew everything I need to say.

"Alright, horn dog. I just want to know _why_ you had a video camera in my room. I also need to address that I'm broke as fuck. So, please, I'm begging, can it just be someone else? I don't have money for you. You also cannot break your promise of not telling Imogen. Lastly, please leave Eli alone. He just went to Katie's today to tell her the news. Katie is devastated. I don't like her but he just sent me a text saying she was asking _him_ to have sex immediately to make you jealous. What the hell? Why are you even doing this?" There.

He frowns. Is he feeling guilty?

"Look," he clears his throat, "I feel like an ass, but I need to get what I want, okay? This is just the perfect opportunity. The fucking opportunity was shining in my face, so, I grabbed it."

"That's right!" I say sarcastically, "Drew Torres will stop everyone and everything to get what he needs. No one calls you out, Drew. You dumped Katie, the girl who will do anything to keep you around, to get with the girl who harassed and outed your brother for being transgender!"

He gets extremely defensive. "She's changed!"

"Big whoop. She got Adam thrown into a door _before_ you two hooked up in the boiler room. Oh, yeah, _while_ you were dating Alli!" I was talking really loud and people were listening but I didn't care.

"That was Owen!" Drew retorted.

"Who you're friends with!" Does he really think he did nothing wrong?

"Fuck, Fiona. If you want me to just send this right now on my phone, then I'll be glad to do it," he lilted.

I cool myself down and apologize. "Sorry. It's just, how can you not feel bad? You've cheated, twice."

"Well, Bianca gave me head. You, the lesbian, went behind your girlfriend's back to sleep with a _guy_," Drew says.

This bastard knows how to me feel like shit. "Let's just get this over with, okay? What can I do to get you to keep quiet from Imogen, leave Eli alone, **apologize to Adam**, that doesn't involve paying you?"

Drew smiles. "You still got that MDMA?"

"Yep," I say.

"Get me some of that," he croons, "Plus, I want you and Imogen to film a small movie for me, and we'll swap tapes."

"Excuse me?" I question.

"That's my final proposal, FiFi," he chuckles.

"Wait," I say, "This was what you wanted in the first place. You thought Imogen and I were going to have sex, so you secretly put your camera in the perfect position to capture it all."

"Guilty," he whispers.

My blood was seething. This guy needs help.

"Fine," I resulted, "I can probably get it to go down tonight. You promise this is legit?"

Drew looks straight into my eyes and says, "Fiona, I promise."

I still end up shaking my head and as I get up from my chair next to an untouched latte, "Could you pay for that? Oh, and by the way, there will be strap-ons and vibrators. Loads. I hope you don't mind."

Drew's eyes widen and he tries to cover up his surprise, "Sure. Lovely," he says.

Dumb ass. We don't all do that.

"Great! Too bad B doesn't go both ways. She's cute," I admit.

"Threesome?" he requests.

That was my cue to go home.

I plop onto my bed and barely notice that my place has been cleaned up. Eli rocks.

"Princess Fiona!"

Imogen rocks.

"What's going on? Where are you?" I wail. Fuck, she makes me so happy.

Imogen runs into my room and screams, "SHOPPING!"

She begins to giggle and I burst out laughing myself. "You know, you always know what is best for me. I love you, Imogen."

She leans in to give me a kiss, "I know! Let's go! Oh, I need to do my makeup!"

Confused, I say, "You already did, babe."

"Huh?" Imogen turns towards the mirror on my wall and gasps, "Holy shit."

"Forgetful, much? Haha!"

Imogen and I exchange glances and I decide now may be the 'perfect opportunity'.

I slowly trail my sentence together. "Imogen? Would you possibly like to –hear me out now– make a video tape of us in, you know, bed?" I pause, "Before we go!" The sooner, the better.

Imogen's face goes red. "Uh, sure!" We laugh some more and I tell her I'll grab the camera. I think I might cry. Don't fucking cry, Fiona.

When I get back into the room, I see Imogen ingesting some of her drugs, of course.

"Do you really need that? That stuff _will_ get to you, Imo," I advise her.

"Are you the fuzz, Fiona? It's just stage fright. It's not every day I film myself doing something like this," Imogen answers.

"Every other day?" I ask.

"Funny!"

We sit close to each other and she begins to kiss my neck. I feel up her smooth back as she begins to go further down, with more and more passion.

If only she knew.

Oh God, I am a bitch.


	3. Chapter 3 Adam

Chapter 3 – Adam

The doctor finally signs the signature. This is the prescription I have been waiting for.

"Thanks, a lot, Dr. Chris!" I exclaim. I really did appreciate it!

I slipped the paper into my wallet, that carries my student ID and Fiona's note from last year.

"No problem, Adam. Just come back in a week so we can see how the therapy is treating you, okay? You should expect your voice to change as well as more muscular development along with maybe some stubble when you have been taking it long enough. Have a good day!" he replies.

"Thanks!" I shout as he walks out the door.

This is next step to becoming who I am.

When I reach home, Mom asks how the appointment went and as I go on and on about the effects and such, she says, "Wow. This stuff ain't cheap."

"Well, obviously, Mom. Its _life-changing_ treatments. I have to rub this cream on my arms and take these pills, too. I said no to inject stuff because needles are freaky," I explain.

"I'm sure Eli knows all about injecting things into his arms," my mom dramatizes.

Eli hurt me, but he isn't a druggie, so I defend him. "He's not like that."

"He crashed his car _on purpose_!" she recites.

"I know, Mom," I groan, "You talk about it a lot. By the way, he's _bipolar_. He can't handle the way he acts, sometimes. He was born that way. If anyone should understand, it's me. That's why we're such good friends..." My voice was trailing off at the end.

"Good friends don't do what he did, Adam," she says.

Drew approaches her and moans about needing money for a movie ticket he is apparently seeing with Bianca and Katie. I don't buy it for a second.

"Bianca," I say as I tap her shoulder.

"Hey! 'Sup?" she asks.

"You two aren't really going to a movie with _Katie_, are you?"

Bianca smirks. "That'd be a nightmare. I thought her and I were on good terms but right after rehab she called me and told me to leave her and Drew alone. Drew told her to suck it up, though. Eli broke up with her for Drew yesterday morning. She is losing it. I tried to explain but she told me to...," she bends down towards my ear and whispers, "...fuck my dad." She leans back and silently shapes, 'What the hell?' with her lips. Wow, Katie's mad. Why is Eli doing Drew's dirty deeds?

"Okay, you two have fun!" my mom hollers.

I follow Drew and Bianca down the hallway and Bianca turned back quick and said with her breath, "I'm heading home. I think Drew's going to the Dot."

I look out our window and I see Bianca walk the opposite direction of which Drew takes Mom's car to. I decide to take a shortcut through the back alley. Before I leave, I check with Mom.

"You know Drew and Katie broke up, right?"

"What? No! That's too bad. Well, at least they are being mature enough to be friends. He can't just make Bianca choose between him and Katie," she says. Are you serious?

"Katie hates Bianca again," I let her know.

"Adam," my mom went on, "Stay involved in your own life, okay? You have just started testosterone hormone therapy. You are going to be _changing_ your body. This is what you wanted. Worry about that."

"Sure," I scoff.

"One last thing: Don't talk to Eli," she warns.

I don't even want to talk about him right now.

"Bye, Mom."

I am nearing the Dot but I stay far enough away so Drew doesn't notice me.

I see him! He's with... her. He's with Fiona. What the fuck?

They don't seem to be having a friendly conversation... What are they trading off? Are those tapes or something? There's something going on. Fuck it, let's go find out.

I ignore traffic and break into the Dot's deck, and march up to the two sneaks.

"Either of you want to explain?" I say.

"Adam!" Drew whines.

"I was just leaving," Fiona says.

Drew yelps, "Yeah, I'll leave Eli alone!"

"Yeah, whatever," Fiona murmured as her heels click clack away.

Drew tries to remove himself from his table and the situation but I put him back down.

"Why are you talking to Fiona, and why is Eli dumping your ex's for you?" I sought for more information.

"Adam, I j-just, I, uh," Drew stutters, "I need you to understand that I am doing whatever I am doing for... you!"

"For me?" I inquire.

"Yes, you!"

"Couldn't be," I say.

"What is this, the cookie jar song? Haha!" Drew laughs.

"_Fuck. You._ Andrew," I curse.

Drew leers and I just try to get this over with. "What are you doing with them?"

"Tell Imogen," Drew directs.

"Huh?" I say.

Drew gazes at me with those stupid eyes that drive all the girls wild. "Tell Imogen what Eli did. Eli screwed you over. It's payback."

Was he trying to get me to lose focus? "I can't..." I claim.

Drew is still staring at me, "Adam, I cannot stress this enough. He deserves it," he authorizes.

"Uh, you're right," I confess. Eli did betray me. Fiona betrayed Imogen! Drew is right.

"Good boy. I'll talk to you when you get home, bro," Drew says.

"Bye, you tit," I joke.

I found Imogen's house with Google Maps. Last time I was here, it was when Eli and I came because Eli assumed Imogen was cheating on him. Now, I'm here to tell Imogen that _she's_ getting cheated on. Now I don't even know if I can do this. I guess I should be blunt about it. Might as well rip the bandage off!

I knock. If Eli and Fiona deserve this, why am I feeling like such a jerk?

"Adam Torres!"

"Fuck!" I shout, "I mean, sorry! Haha. I'm sorry. I, uh, got scared. I was lost in thought."

Imogen rests her hand on my shoulder, "It's going to be okay." She giggles and then says, "What are you here for?"

"I am here to... I have to tell you something," I tell her.

"What is it, Adam Torres?"

"Eli and Fiona, they, uh..." I pause and notice a drip of blood coming from Imogen's nose, "Imogen, your nose is bleeding!"

"My nose is bleeding!" she repeated. Imogen pulled a tampon out of her pocket and stuck it up her nose.

"There," she says satisfied, "You were saying?"

"I'm so sorry, Imogen. Fiona cheated," I said.

Her smile wilted away. "What?"

"Fiona and Eli... They were drunk! Unbelievably! Out of control! Eli thought she was some random and she thought Eli was you and by the time they began to do it, they were caught. Caught by me," I confess. Kind of.

I did not have to lie that they were "hammered". Fuck, why am I so nice? I'm such a pushover.

"Oh. Well, that's fine! If they barely did much and we're really drunk, it's not that big of a deal!" Imogen says.

I was honestly shocked by this. "Imogen, are you sure?"

Imogen nods with the tampon up her nostril without a care in the world.

I had to ask. "Imogen... Are _you_ drunk right now?"

"No, Adam Torres. I'm just, in a _really _happy place is all!"

"Right," I put forth, "Okay. Right. Fuck. Uh, I'll see you, Imogen."

"Tootles!"

Time to go home and rest after everything I just took in. Why do I still feel like there is more to this?

There's a ringing noise...

The phone. Oh, my phone.

I think I just woke up? Wow, I really crashed when I got in my bed.

I check myself in the mirror as I answer the phone. I notice I have a _huge_ zit on my forehead. God, how long has that been there? Increased acne _is_ one of the side effects.

"Jesus," I say to myself.

"You know I don't believe in that guy, right?" Eli snickers.

"Oh, crap. Forgot I answered the phone. Haha," I say.

"Nice," Eli croaked.

"So..."

Eli knew that _I_ knew what he was going to talk about.

"Imogen knows," he starts off with.

"Yeah, I know," I reply.

"Oh," he realizes.

I started to feel upset and really didn't feel like speaking, but he tried to continue the conversation.

"I'm so sorry, Adam. I don't know what either of us was thinking. We were drinking and one thing just led to another. She said she was curious because she had never been with a guy and you know, I just, ever since Julia, it's just been my hand and I, you know?" Eli then thinks about what he said, even though I found no offense to it at all. "Sorry! Fuck, I'm so stupid. I'm so out of control. I'm _never_ going to have my head screwed on right."

Eli really doesn't mean to hurt me. Eli is a good guy. It's the bipolar disorder, obviously. I'm surprised he hasn't had a manic episode recently. Last one was a couple weeks ago when there was a party at Jake's cabin and Eli and I caught Clare giving KC hand. We walked in that room together. That mental image will haunt me forever. Thank God Jenna and Jake never found out. Eli and I are pretty good with secrets...

"Adam?" Eli asks.

I decide to get to the bottom of my real curiousity here. "Why did Drew make you break up him and Katie for himself? Were you trying to win points with me, or what?"

Eli takes in some air, I can hear and then he said, "Adam, you have to trust me on this one. That stuff is handled, I swear. Don't question your brother or Fiona. I don't want to talk about it as well. I know we never keep secrets, I know, but this isn't even one... I mean it. I love you, man. You are my best friend. I'm an ass. I manipulate people and I just, I don't mean to! I really don't!"

"Eli," I interrupt, "You aren't an ass, okay? I forgive you. I really just don't want to see my brother around the house right now. _He_ is the one who is being manipulative. Can we chill tonight? I have the new Resident Evil. Should be killer!"

Eli and I, at the same time, cry out, "Boo-yah!"

I knew this bullshit would be over. Eli's my fucking bud. Nothing's going to change that.

After the call, I tell Mom where I'm headed, I give Dad a high five, and I tell Drew to grow up.

His ways are getting old.

I take my pill and all I can do is smile. I really do feel like I'm changing. Not just physically, but all around. I've grown up a lot and I have so much more confidence in life. This is a guy who's got everything going for him, finally. This is the new Adam Torres.


	4. Chapter 4 Katie

Chapter 4 – Katie

"Wake up, hun!"

I open my groggy eyes and Mom is sitting in her chair in front of my bed.

"Mom, it's so early... What's wrong with you?" I say.

Mom rolls her eyes and informs me, "Its one o'clock in the afternoon, drama queen. Why did you come home so late anyways?"

I spent all night getting absolutely fucked up with Pauly, Chloe, and Imogen. Bianca wants to steal my boyfriend? Whatever. I stole all your fucking friends, bitch. They told me they like me better. When those two break up, she'll have who, Adam? She treated him like shit. Bianca. Fuck, that name.

"I was at Chloe's. We just watched movies and stuff. The two of us fell asleep and I woke up at like 4, I'm sorry!" I fib, while scratching my tired eyes.

"Well, Katie, I don't think you staying 'till eleven, even, is good for you, right now. If you decide to do anything tonight, please come home at ten? Promise?" my mom requests.

"Fine," I moan.

Looks like I'm coming home at twelve!

I check my phone and there are tons of texts.

A couple are from Bethany talking about a soccer camp. Fuck that.

The next like, five are from my mom. Oopsie.

The last two are from Bianca and Drew.

Drew said: 'Call me sometime cuz I feel awful, B wants to be friends k?'

Bianca said: 'Please reply to Drew. He's really concerned about you.'

**Fuck. Off. Bianca.**

I take a whiff of myself and I smell bad. I suppose we were all probably puking. Imogen, the most. Haha. I like that girl.

I can hear Maya singing in the shower and I yell, "Get out, band geek!"

Maya calls out, "In a couple secs. Oh my God, I mean a second!" I start to laugh and I hear her say, "Not... sex," very quietly.

After what seemed like ages, I finally get my turn.

I hop into the tub and turn the showerhead on. At first it's hot as hell, but soon after a few lefts and rights at the knob, it's freaking bliss.

My mind runs away and I begin to imagine many things in my mind. I see a pack of piranhas eating a body in an ocean and soon a ship approaches and it's... Haha! It's fucking Captain Crunch. Oh, God. I think this shit is still in me. I hear knocking on the door and I open my eyes. Funny, look at the little pink blob thing in the corner of my eye. It won't go away.

"Katie, you've been in there for almost twenty minutes!" Dad belts out, "We are trying to save water, remember?"

Shit. "Sorry, Dad!"

Well, great. I didn't even get washed. I'm going to look like a hobo today.

I get out and dry myself off with the same towel I used yesterday. We need to buy some more for crying out loud. Soon enough after getting dressed whatever caught I saw first, I force myself to walk to the Dot and grab a skim Macchiato to keep myself up for the party tonight at Pauly's.

Finally. I made it. I have little to no time for all this exercise. What the hell did I love so bad about soccer? Hey, one good thing came out of it! It introduced me to the painkillers. Ha.

After I placed my order, I peek at who's at the Dot today.

Zig, I think? My sister liked him for a while. Oh? With that Tori bitch? If she ever hurts Maya...

Oh, cool. Fiona is here. Actually... Why don't I just talk to her? Marisol even said that they patched things up. I'm sure her and I can do the same. Besides, I actually wanted to be friends with her.

"Hey, Fiona," I greet her.

"Oh, Katie," she smiles, "Hey there. How was the surgery?"

"Perfect, actually. I'm honestly really happy right now! How are you these days? How's your... post-addiction? I'm sorry. I wasn't sure what to uh, call it? I'm sorry. Ugh. Wow, I'm off today. I just really..." The blob is blue now...

"Skim Macchiato for Katie?" I hear some worker yell.

He's kind of cute. I grab it from his hands and peer at his name tag. "Thanks, Peter," I say with a wink.

I sit back down and Fiona eyes narrow down on me. "What?" I ask her.

"Sorry!" she apologizes, "Uh, the alcoholism thing is going good. Yep! Totally fine."

"Great," I say trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

"I've just been really worried lately..." Fiona starts.

Fiona's perfect life has a curveball thrown her way? Let's hear about this. "What do you mean?"

"Imogen came over so messed up last night. At like five in the morning! I don't know who even dropped her drunk, high, whatever ass off. Clearly, they weren't good enough people to be getting smashed with if they weren't even nice enough to help their friend up to their place. She woke up with _blood_ on her pillow. Blood! I begged her to see a doctor and she admitted that she snorted last night. I have no clue what, but I suppose MDMA. That's what she's been experimenting with as of late. I wonder when I will ask her to stop," Fiona tells me, mused.

"Why wonder?" I say. I'm such a hypocrite. Imogen and I definitely tried cocaine last night.

"Exactly. Snorting crap is just going to mess up your head. Anything going straight to your brain is just stupid. I don't even know where Imogen even gets the MDMA! Fuck, I need to talk to her now," Fiona panics as she gets up.

"Fiona, wait! Text me and keep me updated! I want to be there for you in case things get bad," I tell her, truthfully. This is kind of my fault...

"Of course! Let's hang tonight, maybe?" Fiona suggests.

I doubt she'll be impressed by my scene. "Not tonight! I have, uh, barely anytime to chill these days because of my mom. She's so strict now that I'm out of rehab. Soon, though!" I wasn't lying about my mom or wanting to hang with her.

Fiona puts on some lip gloss and says, "We'll have to share our rehab stories, together! I'll see you, Katie."

What a gem.

That little blob's gone now.

I notice Fiona left her lipstick on the table when she picked up her makeup bag. It must've fallen out, or something. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I used it before I get it to her. I roll the product up and put it on. The colour was a light shade of maroon called 'Intense Cinnamon'. I pick up a napkin, and kiss it, and it thankfully doesn't stick to my lips. Then I walk up to Peter and ask, "May I have a pen?"

"Sure thing," he beamed, pulling a pen from his pocket of his dark blue jeans. Fuck, he's hot.

I write my number and as I return the pen, I invite him with, "I'm going to a party tonight and you should come. I'm going to be looking cute, though. Not as hag as I do right now," I admit yet fishing for a compliment.

"C'mon," Peter justified, "You look great!"

"Back to work, Mr. Stone," said a tall guy who is just cheesing from cheek to cheek.

"Sorry, Spin. This is..." he trails off and smiles waiting for me to finish.

"Katie!" I tell him.

"Gavin, but everyone calls me Spinner," he says. We shake hands.

"Why?" I quizzed.

"ADHD," he answers, then spins –ha– to Peter's attention, "Anyway, Emma and I are going to look at new apartments so can you lock up when your shift is over?"

"Sure thing," Peter replies.

Spinner walks over and kisses a beautiful, thin blonde girl over the counter whom I assume is Emma.

"So, tonight?" I ask.

Peter confirms with a, "You bet."

"So, who'd you invite again?" asked Imogen.

"He said his name is Peter! By the way, Fiona is really concerned! You think you can talk to her?" I shouted over the blaring music. Dubstep is always great to get high to.

"Sure thing, Katie Matlin!" Imogen yelled close to my ear.

"Ah! Too close, Imo! Haha!"

I feel a warm, strong pair of hands touch my waist and I already know it's him.

"Hey, you," I coo and I turn around to see something very much unlike what I was expecting.

"You finally want me, don't you? I heard about you and Drew." Owen says with much too high hopes.

"God, no, you pig. I thought you were someone else. Can you leave us alone?" I say it like a question, but he better know it was a demand.

"Really, Katie?"

"You're dating Anya!"

Owen pushes his gel-moist, long hair out of his eyes and says, "She sent me an e-mail saying how hard it is for her. Anya dumped me. I'm lonely, Katie."

"Go away, Owen," Chloe barked.

"Seriously? You?" he returns with a growl.

"Uh, yeah. You can go shave your back now," Chloe sneers. All three of us girls laugh but Imogen looks uncomfortable right now.

"No. Don't even talk to me, Chloe. You got Anya hooked on coke and it ruined a lot of things for her," Owen said.

Wow, even I didn't know Anya liked to party.

"That was _her_ choice, Owen," Chloe defends herself.

"Just leave, alright, man?"

It was Peter.

"You came!" I shouted.

"Yeah!"

"I was going to text you asking if you found the address okay!" I said.

"Don't worry," he said, joyful.

"Alright. Bye, bitch," Owen darts to Chloe, "You two lovebirds have fun. Keep the circus freak in control."

That was it. "Owen, you're a dick! I fucking apologized to Imogen and look, we're great friends so how about you back off for once, you selfish ass!" I can't believe I had the balls to say that.

Imogen pours her drink over Owen's head as he stopped walking. "I'm a fucking person!" she yelled.

Owen let out a scream and I just couldn't fucking handle his stupid ass. Everyone at the party was looking at us now.

I ran up to the jerk and yelled, "Go to hell!" and punched the bastard in the face.

I was trying to catch my breath while I heard Imo and Chloe chanting my name and soon others joined in, cheering for me, the girl who just punched Owen Milligan in the face. He was on the floor with a black eye. The jerk deserves it for what he did to Adam.

Peter picked me up, while laughing with that cute grin of his, and we went to a room upstairs, secluded from the commotion. He looks deep into my eyes and says, "That was so sexy." We both laugh and soon he leans in for a kiss. It was delicious. He has the perfect breath. "Minty!" I flirted. It was delightful and probably one of the best kisses I've ever had. I wanted to kiss this Peter guy some more.

He began to take my sweater off as he kissed my neck. I was burning with desire and that's when he stopped and said something I wasn't so sure about myself.

"Is this legit, or are we just having a good time? 'Cause I actually wanted to get to know you better," he tells me.

"I could, let you know, I suppose," I tell him. Whoever that is. Katie Matlin is just a name. Katie Matlin isn't who I am inside. I'm either a bunch of secrets, disappointments, and pills all blended together by some crafty mother-fucker that makes up who I am. A confusing soul. Sometimes I think I'm just an empty shell, though.

"Let's get creative, first," I hinted.

Peter can never stop smiling. I fucking love it. "What do you mean, Katie?"

I pull out my mom's codeine that she stupidly decides not to hide even after the overdose. "This is what I'm talking about."

"You want to get high?" he asks, sounding like he disapproves.

"You don't want to?" I say.

"No, I don't fucking want to! Jesus. I finally nab a girl and she is just like the last one. A sad, pathetic druggie. Her name's Victoria. Probably your dealer?," he rants, blowing things _way_ out of proportion.

"Excuse me? Are you trying to say I'm pathetic? Get out," I demand him.

"Gladly," he responds.

After I hear the door slam, I have to let all of this frustration out. All of it needs to just get out.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!"

I get into my covers, makeup on, clothes on, because I really don't give a shit anymore.

"Katie? Is that you?"

I quickly put some eye drops in my eyes and say, "Come in! Can you leave the lights off?"

"Sure, hun," Mom says. She opens the door and as she rolls towards to my bed, I can make out bits of what she is saying... "Katie ... I really ... Imogen ... it's ten thirty, you know?"

Did I tell her I was at Imogen's? "Imogen's clock is slow! Sorry, Mom."

"I thought ... at Chloe's?" she murmurs.

"Oh, sorry. I meant Chloe's. Imogen was there, though!" I shriek.

I feel her put her hand on my head. It's freezing.

"Katie, are you okay?"

"Mom, I'm happy. There's absolutely nothing g-going on," I tell the woman what she wanted to hear.

"Night, Katie," Mom wishes.

Maya walks in, I think.

"I wanted to say good night," Maya says sweetly.

"Awe," I say, "Come here!"

Mom leaves and Maya rest in my arms.

"I love you, Maya," I confess.

Maya sounds disappointed when she says, "I know."

"Wait..." I feel dizzy. I get up and the room is spinning, it's spinning...

My bedroom is like spinning plates.

I feel the crap come out my mouth.

Fuck, this is awful. I feel so sick. I'm burning up. Oh, God...

"Mom! Mom! Katie's sick! I don't know!"

"Katie!"

"Come on ... Hospital? ... Katie ... truth ... I'm so worried."

"... at her! ... She's not breathing! ... Oh my God!"


	5. Chapter 5 Imogen

Chapter 5 – Imogen

"Knock, knock!" I shout as I really do knock on Fiona's door. Haha!

It opens, and I'm upset. "Fiona," I whine, "You were supposed to say 'Who's there?' Haha!"

Fiona's face is all puffy. "We need to talk," she says.

What on Earth is wrong? I don't know why she would be upset. I am _so_ thrilled these days. Its one happy night after another and another!

We take a stroll to Fiona's lavender couch that I picked out earlier this year at Home Sense. Or was it The Brick?

"Babe!" Fiona alerts me.

"Sorry!" I apologize, "My mind is all over the place. Like, all the time." I laugh again, but Fiona is not laughing. Oh, yeah. It's because I didn't talk to her like Katie said she was hoping I would. Whatevs. I can smooth this over.

"I know it is, Imogen. You need to stop with the drugs. It was fun at first, for the first few nights, but now you're scaring me! I need to know that you will stop. Not just for me, but for yourself. Your dad is calling me all the time wondering where you are, and you are so out of it! More than usual! You have barely talked to me in the past week. Let me in, Imogen! We are dating!" Fiona proceeds to sob with her hands covering her face.

Crap. Dad. "You covered for me, right?"

"What?" she asks, looking up from her wet palms.

"Did you tell my dad I was staying here?" I nervously questioned.

Fiona's mad. I didn't mean to!

"What the hell, Imogen?" Fiona screeches.

She runs up towards me and I back up, frightened, honestly.

Fiona speaks again when I simply can't, "Why are you more concerned about that than us? I'm so sad right now! I need you."

I still can't speak. What _was_ I thinking? I can't help it if I want to have fun. Drugs are fun. I decided they were loads of fun when I tried coke with Katie a couple nights ago. That was also Taco Tuesday. Mmm.

All of a sudden, Fiona stumbles towards my Domo backpack and is digging around.

"Fiona," I say, "Are you drunk?"

"I don't know!" she replies, "Are you high?"

Why lie? "Yeah, I am," I confess, "A little bit..."

Fiona is now tapping her high heels to the bathroom. Why does she have to so upset? I hate being sad!

"Fiona!" I call out her.

"Why are you so stressed about this? I'm not addicted!" I tell her.

"Okay," Fiona lets out with her breath, "Then you are peachy with me doing this?"

Fiona has my baggie of MDMA. She's... What?

"Fiona! Shit!" I curse.

"You're not addicted, Imogen! It's okay! It's okay! It's all okay!" Fiona is losing it!

She finishes dumping the rest of the powder into the toilet and then she crawls into the shower, clothes on, and well, showers. I flush the toilet for her, since it's no good use now.

"Wow, you really need to go to rehab again, Fi," I observe.

She just sits there, letting the water drench her drunken self.

"I know! Let's sing a happy song!" I declare.

"You are _so _weird, Imogen," Fiona tells me. With disgust, it seemed.

"I know," I say quietly. Is Fiona, my girlfriend, trying to hurt me?

This isn't Fiona. This is drunk Fiona. Drunk Fiona doesn't know what she wants. Drunk Fiona is always angry and sad. Drunk Fiona needs to see the beauty of being sober. Oh, blast it all. I'm not one to talk.

"Look," Fiona says, "I need to be alone. Just book yourself a flight to the same place I went. They're great! That's why I have relapsed twice," she explains sarcastically, while holding up three fingers.

"Bye, Fiona Coyne," I mumble, prodding her shoulder with my hand.

As I approach the door out of her loft, a guy with fairly enchanting eyebrows walks in, giving me a funny look.

"Declan Coyne?" I guess.

He feels weird, I think.

"Sorry," I marked, "I think that is you. Fiona tells you about you, lots. She misses you. Here you are!" I shout, giggly.

He seemed lost, but he shakes his head quick, and finally responds with, "Is that champagne on the counter?"

Crap.

"Uh, yeah, I suppose. Why?" I play dumb.

"Fiona's an alcoholic. Did you know that?" he asks.

It was driving me crazy not knowing who he is. "Are you Declan Coyne?"

"Yes," he replies, "**Did you know Fiona is an alcoholic**?"

"Yes," I confess, "Although, she drank it before I got here. You can't just blame me!"

Declan looks annoyed with me...

"I wasn't, okay? Look, just tell where she is. Our mom _cannot _know about this. She will be here tomorrow."

I point towards the washroom and I follow him to it while he began to run over. Declan yells out, "Fiona?"

I didn't walk into the washroom. I just stood outside.

"Declan?" I hear Fiona utter.

"Listen, Fi. You need to get up, and go to bed. Mom is coming tomorrow to talk about college. Yale could be an option. With Holly J and I, and–"

Fiona cuts him off, "Holly J!"

Declan lets out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah," he says, "Just get some rest. We won't tell Mom about this. Just stop and she won't know!"

I couldn't take it. I walk inside and disagree, "Don't you think she should?"

"She is _my_ sister, okay? It's _our_ family's issues. Who are you, anyway?" Declan demands an answer.

"I'm her girlfriend!" I defend myself.

"Not anymore," Fiona mutters, giving me the stink eye.

"Well, then great!" I cry out, throwing my hands up in the air. I walk out, hearing Declan's desperate bribes towards Fiona, and I can't help but begin to bawl.

Making my way throughout downtown, with tears still down my cheeks, I receive a call from Eli, and I decline with an automatic voicemail. He leaves three messages for the times I ignored his call by the time I make it home, so I listen to them.

The first one starts out like this: "Imogen... Katie died. Well, almost. Well, she _did_. But she is alive again. The doctor's revived her, thankfully. Her drug use got to her. Real bad, Imo," he rests his broken voice, and tries to carry on the message, "I don't want to see you carry on and get like that, okay?" I think he is crying... Oh, Eli Goldsworthy. "I," Eli stops again, "I need you. Fiona needs you. You two need to stay together. She is upset, okay?"

The second one goes along with it, but with a more stable voice: "So, Fiona texted me, drunk, about you guys. Surprisingly, I could have understood it. I'm glad her brother visited. Guess you didn't listen to me, did you? You are so unbelievable. You only care about drugs and parties now! What happened to the artsy, clean, and caring Imogen?" He ends with that, and right now, I want to call him back and just lose my cool, but I guess I should listen to the third message.

That one ended up with this: "I'm so sorry, Imogen. Declan called me and said it wasn't your fault. Fiona was probably mean to you. She isn't really her, when she is drunk. Declan says that he will be staying in Toronto until his finals start, so he is going to make sure she gets herself together before she even goes near even a fucking Mudshake. I really am sorry about that second message, Imogen. Call me. Adam and I are going to catch a flick at the retro movie theatre just a couple blocks down Little Miss Steak's at 9. Please come. Bye."

Well, that made things better. I haven't changed at all! I'm still figuring myself out, though. How can anyone be punished for that? I don't know what my "preference" is... Fiona lays so much pressure on me to define our relationship and... Never mind. Laid.

I don't think I was ready to date, anyway.

I take a long nap and wake up with another nose bleed. I clean that up, pop a few tampons up the nose, and check my phone. It's Chloe, asking me to hang out with her, Pauly, and someone named Dallas, but I am really not up to it.

Actually, I am changing. Fiona just keeps upbraiding me to the point where I don't feel like myself anymore. She made me change my outfit at her party with dumb Owen and company. Marisol and the populars. Katie, I wouldn't include.

Oh, wow. I should visit Katie.

That's what I do. I take the bus to the general hospital, and despite visiting hours being over, Maya convinces her mom to let me talk to Katie.

I reach Katie's bed, and she speaks before I do, "Stop."

"Stop?" I repeat.

"Lay off the blow, Imo," she cautions.

"I will," I say. I meant it too.

"You can't end up like this. I keep blaming this all on Drew, Bianca, and the people who let me down, but it's me. It was me who did drugs. You didn't force me to do coke. In fact, I was the one who scored it..." Katie drifts off, with her head leaning to her other shoulder.

I scoot to the other side of her bed, rest hands around her back, and she begins to speak in my ear.

"I died last night, Imogen," she croons.

I couldn't take it. I blinked and I soon felt the salty tears on the tip of my tongue when I licked my lips. "I know," I tell Katie.

"I barely remember dying. I don't know what to tell people when they ask me how I feel. I feel numb. I feel so freaked out. I feel so whole, but empty. Do you ever feel like that?" Katie whispers.

"All the t-time," I stutter.

"Hold on to what's important, Imogen. I'm so sorry about how I treated you before we started talking. I guess I was just so full of myself. I was cocky. I was a bitch."

"Stop being so mean to yourself!" I let out with a whimper.

Katie has fallen asleep in my arms.

I kissed her forehead. I watched her sleep for a bit. I hugged Maya. I wished Margaret well.

I went to the movie with Adam and Eli. I didn't tell them what was wrong. The movie was okay.

I went home, I told my Dad everything I needed to, and he told me to sleep.

"I love you, Katie Matlin," I say when I reached my bed, "I love you, Fiona Coyne. I love you Eli Goldsworthy. I love you all. I love you, Dad."

I hugged my big pink pillow, and I cry again. Although, these are happy tears. I'm so happy Katie is alive. I'm so thankful for the important people in my life.

"Daddy!" I cry out.

Dad opens the door, "Yes, Imo?"

"Can you leave the door open?" I request.

He smiles, and leaves it open a crack, and then blows me a kiss.

I caught it, and I closed my eyes with my iPod's earphones in.

I have got The Smiths blaring, and my mind is still somewhere, lost. It's going to take me a while to find it, but I'll get there. It better be worth the search. I've always loved adventures.

Good night.


	6. Final Chapter Declan

Chapter 6 – Declan

"You can do this," I tell Fiona, "You can stop drinking. I know you can. Mom can't go through paying for rehab _again_, Fi. Do _you _even want to go?"

Fiona gives me the 'duh' look.

"Exactly. Let's just keep what happened a secret. Our little secret, right?" I try to sound as calm as possible but really, I feel I may just jump out of my skin.

"For sure, bro," Fiona responds.

"Should we have Mom come here or do you want to meet her somewhere? I'm cool with either," I lie, secretly hoping she would pick here so we could just get this all over with.

"I have been _dying_ to go to that new steakhouse downtown, actually. I was going to go with Imogen but she won't reply to my calls for some reason. I'm still worried... Did you know her friend had to be revived by a defibrillator? I think that's the word…" Fiona is now gazing at the painted portrait of her that is hanging up above the kitchen, that luckily for her wasn't repossessed. She told me the story behind it. It's special to her.

"Fiona," I start, "…You don't remember what happened at all, do you?"

Fiona turns back and catches my attention, clueless.

"What are you talking about, Declan?" she asks.

"You broke up with Imogen. Right after you dumped her drugs down the toilet, I guess," I say.

"What? Was I seriously that drunk?" Fiona wondered.

"Yeah," I tell her, feeling uncertain. She looks so devastated.

"I'm so awful!" Fiona yelps.

"No, you're not, Fi! You did her a favour! Her drug use was out of control. You told me," I reassure her.

"Is that so?" Fiona glares, "By dumping her, she _won't_ turn to drugs?"

"She didn't seem that mad about the drugs, Fiona," I say, which was true.

Fiona then reaches for her cell phone to text Imogen when our mom walks into the loft.

"Munchkins!" she screeches.

She must be really pumped to see us. She hasn't called us that since we were toddlers.

"Hey, Mom!" Fiona replies.

"What's up?" I add.

"Oh, nothing much, except that I got off the hook! Our money problem still exists, but for now, we'll work our way up again! Your dad is back working, and we didn't have to pay the lawyer as much as we suspected," our mom explains.

"That's great!" Fiona and I surprisingly exclaim at once. What a cliché. Twins talking at the same, saying the same thing.

"Neither of you really answered your phones so I thought I would just drop by instead of going somewhere public. I am swamped, anyhow. I need to put my feet up for a rest," she tells us.

"Chinese?" Fiona suggests.

"Sounds good," I say, "Mom, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure! I'm just going to use the restroom," Mom replies.

Fiona walks into her bedroom, on the phone, ordering. That's when I receive a long text message from Holly J.

"Declan, we need to talk. The gambling needs to stop. Las Vegas was fun, but you got so carried away. You know that you aren't supposed to be spending ill. My mom freaked over mine. I'm back at Yale studying for finals. I hope you are too when you come back. I'm glad we're friends, again, although I am worried. You better be in Toronto for the right reasons. Call me. Tell Fiona and your mom I say hello."

Holly J is so uptight.

"Was that a text from Holly J?" Fiona asks, cheerful.

"Yep, and she says hi," I stated.

Fiona smiles and sits down on her couch. I sit down too and tell Fiona how mom wants to talk about college, but she doesn't seem too perked about it.

"Fashion school?" Fiona pins.

"Mom _could_ settle for that," I lie.

"Settle for what?" Mom questions.

"Fashion school!" Fiona says.

Mom scoffs. "Out of the question. Let's talk about maybe some schools nearby Toronto, to start. There's some that I found out about online. Smithdale, Banting, or even TU if you'd like!"

Fiona lays her head back and sighs before chanting my name to tell Mom what I needed to talk to her about.

"What is it, Declan?" she craved.

"I need money," I reluctantly request.

"A simple please would have been excellent," Mom says.

"Sorry. I just really want to do another exchange program in Japan. Wouldn't that be the greatest?" I feel bad for lying but fuck, I need this money. I need to get out of this hole.

"That's quite the culture shock you are planning for, Dexter," Fiona tells me.

"Please, Mom?" I beg.

She looks like she is going to say no, but, "Since the exchange program to Toronto went so well for you guys in your junior year at Degrassi, I can't help but say yes, Declan. It sounds wonderful." Yes.

"Thanks, Mom! You're the best!" I shout.

Then soon, the Chinese food was there and we ate and talked about how much we want Dad to had been there.

Later that night, at a club, I am still winning shit all.

"You're barking up the wrong tree, here, bud," the big guy says.

"Whatever," I brush it off, "Just deal me in."

This is the last of my 'exchange' money.

Before I know it, I lost. I lost again. I keep fucking losing! All my strategies... What went wrong? I don't get it! I don't get it!

I make my way back to Fiona's loft and take notice of Fiona's party. Some people I recognize. Clare, Alli, and I finally meet this guy, Eli, that Fiona has became great friends with. He tells me he enjoys plays. I wonder how he liked Space Awakening.

"Declan!" I hear Fiona cry from across the room.

"What is this? Are you drunk?" I question.

Fiona looked hurt. "No," she denies, "This is an alcohol-free party."

"No alcohol? No drugs? None?"

"None," she repeats.

I decide to just let loose and enjoy the party. "Then awesome!" I scream, and the rest of the crowd cheers with me. I get some high fives, and some hugs, and then Fiona leads me to her bedroom.

"Imogen and I decided that we are just going to be friends again. She really doesn't know what she wants, and I think I was putting lots of pressure on her to decide quickly. So, we'll just see how it goes. She told me she isn't addicted, and I think I believe her," Fiona rants before we have even gotten to her bed and shut the door.

"That's good!" I reply. I really just need to win right now. All this other crap doesn't even matter.

That's when Fiona kisses me. Not like last time, in New York. This is totally different. She plants her soft lips on mine while she tenderly caresses me by the jaw, pulling my head inwards. This is even more so different, because well, I kissed back. I tilt my head and return the kiss, and we end up kissing for at least 10 seconds. It was… It… What the fuck? I… What the fuck?

I pushed Fiona off and yelled, "God, you are such a fucking freak!"

"Shut up!" Fiona barks.

"Why are you like this? You are making _me_ feel **disgusting**," I hollered.

"Gee, Declan! Why am I so screwed up, huh? Maybe it all started when you got me alcohol poisoned when we were eleven!" Fiona shrieks.

"Are you seriously blaming _me_ for you being an alcoholic?" I ask her.

"You were convincing me not to go to rehab earlier today!" Fiona howls.

"I was concerned about Mom and Dad's money," I defend myself.

"What a load of crap," Fiona alleges.

"I don't need this," I said.

"Leave, Declan," Fiona expresses.

"That's what I am doing!" I snap.

I slam the door shut and leave without causing an episode. Why are we so fucked up? I am such a nervous wreck already. Fuck, if they knew that I have slept two hours in the past week.

Finals. Just screw them. Screw this "family". I'm leaving. I _will_ go to Japan. I'll fucking go there. Just need to get out of this hole.

I just have to stop digging deeper and deeper.

The more I do, the more I suffocate. I can already feel the dirt in the mouth.

I have got to get out of this hole I have dug.

I have to get **out of this hole**.


End file.
